Ytdyklly

I was granted an H1B (United States) and was able to get hired after about a year. During the interview, I thought the company looked amazing as they are a fitness company and promote a healthy lifestyle in the workplace. Since joining, I feel like there was a lot that I didn't see between the lines during the interviews.

We have an open lunch period, but I've learned that people prefer to eat their meals on some sort of schedule. Similarly, it's very similar stuff ranging from protein shakes to plain boiled chicken. Because of this strange lunch timing, it's difficult for me to join them and when I do, people make comments about how I'm ruining my "macros" (I just eat Marie Calendar pot pies). There's also wildly snide remarks about some sort of syrup in my soda, which I don't quite understand.

The last real incident aside from snide remarks was the time I brought some Cheetos to a office party, to find out that everyone brought veg places and proceeded to dump the Cheetos away was mocking it.

Recently, I've been trying to acclimate to these changes and so far nothing else has happened, but I find it "different" from my normal lifestyle. I want to know if that these social pressures are normal and if it's reasonable for me try to fit in?

It sounds like you bit off a bit more than you can chew, so to speak, when applying to a fitness company which promotes a healthy lifestyle. Sounds like these people take it SERIOUSLY. While there is no excuse for insulting you in the workplace for anything like this and they're a bit over the line in my opinion, in this case it sounds like everyone does one thing and you're doing something else that they don't approve of. Normally I would say to raise this issue with HR because you're being bullied, but based on the way you've presented the issue, it sounds like a company culture thing, and you're just too far outside the culture. Meaning, you should start bringing plain boiled chicken or protein shakes for lunch, and bring veggies as party snacks, or this will continue.

EDIT: As for whether these sorts of pressures are normal, absolutely they are not. However, if literally everyone in the company, all the way from the lowest level to the CEO all does things one way, and you're the only person who doesn't, this is what happens. Not saying it's OK, but this organization sounds more like a cult than a company, and that's how cults do things.

This sounds like blatant workplace bullying.

Forget for a moment that this is a fitness company, and just take all the affront's you've had to suffer.

• People make comments about how I'm ruining my "macros"


• There's also wildly snide remarks about some sort of syrup in my soda


• I brought some Cheetos to a office party, to find out that everyone brought veg places and proceeded to dump the Cheetos away was mocking it.

Recently, I've been trying to acclimate to these changes and so far nothing else has happened, but I find it "different" from my normal lifestyle. I want to know if that these social pressures are normal and if it's reasonable for me try to fit in?

Changing to fit in might cure the symptoms, but it won't cure the disease. This is essentially mobbing behavior and "othering" anyone who doesn't conform to their corporate culture in a very nasty way.

Start floating your resume. It has been my experience that once you have been "othered", you are not likely to ever fully fit in with the group, and even if you try to conform, they will find other excuses to engage in shaming behavior.

You don't need to put up with this abusive behavior. Be ready to move on if the behavior continues towards yourself, or anyone else.

What you're describing is far from normal in general - you might see one or two "healthy eating zealots" in a company - but obviously they are easier to ignore.

The situation you find yourself probably has it's roots in the company being as you put it a "fitness company" and that perhaps a higher proportion of people who are going to be that way inclined. They probably aren't all zealots to that degree - but if there's enough of them it can become the dominant culture.

I'm not going to excuse their behavior - it's bullying and unacceptable IMHO, your dietary choices are none of their business and frankly they should shut the hell up. Unfortunately it sounds as if this culture is quite entrenched in this particular company so I think from a practical point of view trying to change or eliminate it yourself is going to be nigh on impossible.

So what to do?

It depends on how much it's affecting you really - you could just ignore them, do your work and refuse to engage. Eat what you want and to hell with them. On the other hand if it's really bothering you then you might have to look at polishing the CV and finding another company, it's not right, it's not fair but sometimes you just have to pick your battles.

That said you mention that the promotion of a healthy lifestyle was one of the things that attracted you to the company - if you want to change your diet for you, not to "fit in" or any such peer-pressure rubbish but because it's something you want to do anyway then I'd suggest seeking out a co-worker who you have something of a rapport with and hasn't caused any of these incidents and asking them if they would mind giving you some tips for eating healthier.

But (and I know I'm repeating myself here) only consider doing so if it's because you want to make a change for you. If you're happy with your diet/lifestyle then more power to you! No-one should feel pressured to change something like this because of childish bullies.

Good luck!

PS: To help you decipher some of their cryptic references:

"macros" probably refers to "macro-nutrients" e.g. Carbohydrate, Protein and Fat
"some sort of syrup in my soda" probably refers to High Fructose Corn Syrup, a syrup used to provide the sweetness in many US sodas.

I was going to comment that the behaviour seems strange, like it was some sort of cult, but then I saw it was a fitness company.

I'm going to be honest with you, if you do decide to attempt to fit-in, it will take some work. To the point where it may be a significant lifestyle change, and not just at-work behaviour. You've already identified this.

The company says that it promotes a healthy lifestyle, and it seems that many of the employees, at least the ones in your team, take that to heart.

I'm inclined to say that it would be rather difficult for you to "fit in". If you really want to work there, and are not inclined to work to fit in, you can simply ride it out and they will get used to you. They will eventually get used to your eating habits. Do you otherwise have much in common with these people?

It's really a question for you and what your priorities are. It sounds like you travelled quite a way to find a job, so I wouldn't throw that all away because of a few snide remarks. Is the work enjoyable?

It's natural to want to fit in, but in this instance it may require more work than you are prepared to do.

If you do decide to give it a go, good luck!