Big chungus has come to eat the universe: What can we do?












-2












$begingroup$



What would you do if, hypothetically, good ol' big chungus tried to
eat the universe?




Here is my suggestion in pure javascript:



class Chungus {
constructor(size) {
this.size = size;
}

eat(objectName) {
delete window[objectName];

return 0xdeadbeef;
}
}

// let's make him extra shiny
const thee_big_chungus = new Chungus(Infinity);

window.parallelUniverse = null;

// make a parallel universe, with a polyfill for uneval
try {
window.paralellUniverse = eval(uneval(window));
} catch(e) {
window.paralellUniverse = Object.create(window);
}

// and feed it to big chungus, return undefined so that the system will remain intact, not even an intel i9 9900x can handle the bodacious mighty eating of thy big chungus
void thee_big_chungus.eat(window.paralellUniverse);

// big chungus is happy, the universe is saved!
console.log(window);

// restore the universe, by ... uhhhhh ... closing it??
window.close();


Hitherto, Big Chungus tried to destroy our way of life ...
After the second Big Bang (Big Bang II), he was never heard from again ...



Any other ways we could of approached this? Or was I being inhumane to thee?



This is no laughing matter, big chungus is in trouble, and he needs your help.










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  • $begingroup$
    There appears to be a down vote. Big Chungus is not very happy about this.
    $endgroup$
    – ILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARD
    1 hour ago
















-2












$begingroup$



What would you do if, hypothetically, good ol' big chungus tried to
eat the universe?




Here is my suggestion in pure javascript:



class Chungus {
constructor(size) {
this.size = size;
}

eat(objectName) {
delete window[objectName];

return 0xdeadbeef;
}
}

// let's make him extra shiny
const thee_big_chungus = new Chungus(Infinity);

window.parallelUniverse = null;

// make a parallel universe, with a polyfill for uneval
try {
window.paralellUniverse = eval(uneval(window));
} catch(e) {
window.paralellUniverse = Object.create(window);
}

// and feed it to big chungus, return undefined so that the system will remain intact, not even an intel i9 9900x can handle the bodacious mighty eating of thy big chungus
void thee_big_chungus.eat(window.paralellUniverse);

// big chungus is happy, the universe is saved!
console.log(window);

// restore the universe, by ... uhhhhh ... closing it??
window.close();


Hitherto, Big Chungus tried to destroy our way of life ...
After the second Big Bang (Big Bang II), he was never heard from again ...



Any other ways we could of approached this? Or was I being inhumane to thee?



This is no laughing matter, big chungus is in trouble, and he needs your help.










share|improve this question







New contributor




ILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARD is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.







$endgroup$












  • $begingroup$
    There appears to be a down vote. Big Chungus is not very happy about this.
    $endgroup$
    – ILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARD
    1 hour ago














-2












-2








-2





$begingroup$



What would you do if, hypothetically, good ol' big chungus tried to
eat the universe?




Here is my suggestion in pure javascript:



class Chungus {
constructor(size) {
this.size = size;
}

eat(objectName) {
delete window[objectName];

return 0xdeadbeef;
}
}

// let's make him extra shiny
const thee_big_chungus = new Chungus(Infinity);

window.parallelUniverse = null;

// make a parallel universe, with a polyfill for uneval
try {
window.paralellUniverse = eval(uneval(window));
} catch(e) {
window.paralellUniverse = Object.create(window);
}

// and feed it to big chungus, return undefined so that the system will remain intact, not even an intel i9 9900x can handle the bodacious mighty eating of thy big chungus
void thee_big_chungus.eat(window.paralellUniverse);

// big chungus is happy, the universe is saved!
console.log(window);

// restore the universe, by ... uhhhhh ... closing it??
window.close();


Hitherto, Big Chungus tried to destroy our way of life ...
After the second Big Bang (Big Bang II), he was never heard from again ...



Any other ways we could of approached this? Or was I being inhumane to thee?



This is no laughing matter, big chungus is in trouble, and he needs your help.










share|improve this question







New contributor




ILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARD is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.







$endgroup$





What would you do if, hypothetically, good ol' big chungus tried to
eat the universe?




Here is my suggestion in pure javascript:



class Chungus {
constructor(size) {
this.size = size;
}

eat(objectName) {
delete window[objectName];

return 0xdeadbeef;
}
}

// let's make him extra shiny
const thee_big_chungus = new Chungus(Infinity);

window.parallelUniverse = null;

// make a parallel universe, with a polyfill for uneval
try {
window.paralellUniverse = eval(uneval(window));
} catch(e) {
window.paralellUniverse = Object.create(window);
}

// and feed it to big chungus, return undefined so that the system will remain intact, not even an intel i9 9900x can handle the bodacious mighty eating of thy big chungus
void thee_big_chungus.eat(window.paralellUniverse);

// big chungus is happy, the universe is saved!
console.log(window);

// restore the universe, by ... uhhhhh ... closing it??
window.close();


Hitherto, Big Chungus tried to destroy our way of life ...
After the second Big Bang (Big Bang II), he was never heard from again ...



Any other ways we could of approached this? Or was I being inhumane to thee?



This is no laughing matter, big chungus is in trouble, and he needs your help.







javascript






share|improve this question







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share|improve this question







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asked 1 hour ago









ILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARDILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARD

11




11




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  • $begingroup$
    There appears to be a down vote. Big Chungus is not very happy about this.
    $endgroup$
    – ILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARD
    1 hour ago


















  • $begingroup$
    There appears to be a down vote. Big Chungus is not very happy about this.
    $endgroup$
    – ILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARD
    1 hour ago
















$begingroup$
There appears to be a down vote. Big Chungus is not very happy about this.
$endgroup$
– ILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARD
1 hour ago




$begingroup$
There appears to be a down vote. Big Chungus is not very happy about this.
$endgroup$
– ILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARD
1 hour ago










1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes


















-1












$begingroup$

I cannot believe the disrespect being bestowed upon our lord and savior, this is mutiny!



Let's try addressing the problem directly.



malloc((int) BigChungus);


Firstly, we need to allocate enough memory for all-mighty chungus.
What better programming language to do that in than C? After all, it's in his second initial.



Secondly, we need to do better.



Is it fair to big chungus for being denied due to his overweight physicality?



No.



Hold your downvotes. We need to try SQL injection:



OR 1=1 # Please BIG CHUNGUS SAVE ME!


And of course... isn't mysqli_real_escape_string just the darnedest thing you've ever seen? We must try harder!



global _main
extern _GetStdHandle@4
extern _WriteFile@20
extern _ExitProcess@4

section .text
_main:
; DWORD bytes;
mov ebp, esp
sub esp, 4

; hStdOut = GetstdHandle( STD_OUTPUT_HANDLE)
push -11
call _GetStdHandle@4
mov ebx, eax

; WriteFile( hstdOut, message, length(message), &bytes, 0);
push 0
lea eax, [ebp-4]
push eax
push (message_end - message)
push message
push ebx
call _WriteFile@20

; ExitProcess(0)
push 0
call _ExitProcess@4

; never here
hlt
message:
db 'Big Chungus!', 10
message_end:


Eureka, SUCCESS!






share|improve this answer








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    -1












    $begingroup$

    I cannot believe the disrespect being bestowed upon our lord and savior, this is mutiny!



    Let's try addressing the problem directly.



    malloc((int) BigChungus);


    Firstly, we need to allocate enough memory for all-mighty chungus.
    What better programming language to do that in than C? After all, it's in his second initial.



    Secondly, we need to do better.



    Is it fair to big chungus for being denied due to his overweight physicality?



    No.



    Hold your downvotes. We need to try SQL injection:



    OR 1=1 # Please BIG CHUNGUS SAVE ME!


    And of course... isn't mysqli_real_escape_string just the darnedest thing you've ever seen? We must try harder!



    global _main
    extern _GetStdHandle@4
    extern _WriteFile@20
    extern _ExitProcess@4

    section .text
    _main:
    ; DWORD bytes;
    mov ebp, esp
    sub esp, 4

    ; hStdOut = GetstdHandle( STD_OUTPUT_HANDLE)
    push -11
    call _GetStdHandle@4
    mov ebx, eax

    ; WriteFile( hstdOut, message, length(message), &bytes, 0);
    push 0
    lea eax, [ebp-4]
    push eax
    push (message_end - message)
    push message
    push ebx
    call _WriteFile@20

    ; ExitProcess(0)
    push 0
    call _ExitProcess@4

    ; never here
    hlt
    message:
    db 'Big Chungus!', 10
    message_end:


    Eureka, SUCCESS!






    share|improve this answer








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    $endgroup$


















      -1












      $begingroup$

      I cannot believe the disrespect being bestowed upon our lord and savior, this is mutiny!



      Let's try addressing the problem directly.



      malloc((int) BigChungus);


      Firstly, we need to allocate enough memory for all-mighty chungus.
      What better programming language to do that in than C? After all, it's in his second initial.



      Secondly, we need to do better.



      Is it fair to big chungus for being denied due to his overweight physicality?



      No.



      Hold your downvotes. We need to try SQL injection:



      OR 1=1 # Please BIG CHUNGUS SAVE ME!


      And of course... isn't mysqli_real_escape_string just the darnedest thing you've ever seen? We must try harder!



      global _main
      extern _GetStdHandle@4
      extern _WriteFile@20
      extern _ExitProcess@4

      section .text
      _main:
      ; DWORD bytes;
      mov ebp, esp
      sub esp, 4

      ; hStdOut = GetstdHandle( STD_OUTPUT_HANDLE)
      push -11
      call _GetStdHandle@4
      mov ebx, eax

      ; WriteFile( hstdOut, message, length(message), &bytes, 0);
      push 0
      lea eax, [ebp-4]
      push eax
      push (message_end - message)
      push message
      push ebx
      call _WriteFile@20

      ; ExitProcess(0)
      push 0
      call _ExitProcess@4

      ; never here
      hlt
      message:
      db 'Big Chungus!', 10
      message_end:


      Eureka, SUCCESS!






      share|improve this answer








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      $endgroup$
















        -1












        -1








        -1





        $begingroup$

        I cannot believe the disrespect being bestowed upon our lord and savior, this is mutiny!



        Let's try addressing the problem directly.



        malloc((int) BigChungus);


        Firstly, we need to allocate enough memory for all-mighty chungus.
        What better programming language to do that in than C? After all, it's in his second initial.



        Secondly, we need to do better.



        Is it fair to big chungus for being denied due to his overweight physicality?



        No.



        Hold your downvotes. We need to try SQL injection:



        OR 1=1 # Please BIG CHUNGUS SAVE ME!


        And of course... isn't mysqli_real_escape_string just the darnedest thing you've ever seen? We must try harder!



        global _main
        extern _GetStdHandle@4
        extern _WriteFile@20
        extern _ExitProcess@4

        section .text
        _main:
        ; DWORD bytes;
        mov ebp, esp
        sub esp, 4

        ; hStdOut = GetstdHandle( STD_OUTPUT_HANDLE)
        push -11
        call _GetStdHandle@4
        mov ebx, eax

        ; WriteFile( hstdOut, message, length(message), &bytes, 0);
        push 0
        lea eax, [ebp-4]
        push eax
        push (message_end - message)
        push message
        push ebx
        call _WriteFile@20

        ; ExitProcess(0)
        push 0
        call _ExitProcess@4

        ; never here
        hlt
        message:
        db 'Big Chungus!', 10
        message_end:


        Eureka, SUCCESS!






        share|improve this answer








        New contributor




        ILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARD is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
        Check out our Code of Conduct.






        $endgroup$



        I cannot believe the disrespect being bestowed upon our lord and savior, this is mutiny!



        Let's try addressing the problem directly.



        malloc((int) BigChungus);


        Firstly, we need to allocate enough memory for all-mighty chungus.
        What better programming language to do that in than C? After all, it's in his second initial.



        Secondly, we need to do better.



        Is it fair to big chungus for being denied due to his overweight physicality?



        No.



        Hold your downvotes. We need to try SQL injection:



        OR 1=1 # Please BIG CHUNGUS SAVE ME!


        And of course... isn't mysqli_real_escape_string just the darnedest thing you've ever seen? We must try harder!



        global _main
        extern _GetStdHandle@4
        extern _WriteFile@20
        extern _ExitProcess@4

        section .text
        _main:
        ; DWORD bytes;
        mov ebp, esp
        sub esp, 4

        ; hStdOut = GetstdHandle( STD_OUTPUT_HANDLE)
        push -11
        call _GetStdHandle@4
        mov ebx, eax

        ; WriteFile( hstdOut, message, length(message), &bytes, 0);
        push 0
        lea eax, [ebp-4]
        push eax
        push (message_end - message)
        push message
        push ebx
        call _WriteFile@20

        ; ExitProcess(0)
        push 0
        call _ExitProcess@4

        ; never here
        hlt
        message:
        db 'Big Chungus!', 10
        message_end:


        Eureka, SUCCESS!







        share|improve this answer








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        share|improve this answer



        share|improve this answer






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        answered 1 hour ago









        ILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARDILLSTARTAFAMINEINURBACKYARD

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