Ytdyklly

Here's the situation. There is a person on Team X. They share some hardware that I also work on.

They're trying to create a setup for something and struggling big time with it. It's none of my business, but I know that they are struggling. And on a couple of occasions they ping me asking for details about that machine's setup. Whenever they quiz me on something I provide the answers. But over time, I feel like helping them.

So finally, I ask them how their work is going because I know that they're struggling with it. They tell me their problem and I give them a solution. And what follows is a surprise. They start throwing their problems at me one after another. There's no please, or gratitude. In fact, it appears that they're speaking to me as if it is my job to solve their problems.

In the ongoing discussion I get the impression that they're turning around their problems into "I don't know the setup on this machine, but it's your job and you have to help me out with this" and "I need to do X for this setup, so how do I do it?" rather than searching for their own solutions.

I help out whatever I can and end the conversation. I get the feeling that they don't want to put effort in figuring out how to go about doing stuff which is easily google-able.

At the end she says "I'm going to bug you again tomorrow".

How can I communicate that I just went out of my way to help them, and they took my help for granted and that I will not be helping them again tomorrow?

You should speak to the person:

"Hey listen, I understand you got this problem, but I have this other assignment which is expected out of me. If you feel you are really stuck and can't progress without assistance, speak to your manager and they should be able to sort something out for you"

If they keep bugging you, that's when you go to your own boss.

There is no harm in confessing you already helped them a little. But make sure you clearly explain how much time this person wants to take of yours.

It's sad but true: people take the path of least resistance and effort needed.

If the repeated requests are taking up your work time in a way that makes completing your own work difficult, please be firm and straight about it and push back. Say something like:

"Hey listen, I understand you got this problem, but I have this other assignment which is expected out of me. If you feel you are really stuck and can't progress without some help, why don't you talk to your boss about the help you needed? I'm sure (s)he will understand and make the necessary arrangements for you to get help. In case I am the chosen one, I'll be glad to discuss the same with my boss and have the assignments allocated accordingly. Till then, I really need to get back to what I was doing, thanks."

The case sounds like, they just want to use you and your expertise for "free", without investing any effort from their side. The moment you bring up the point to make it official, you'll see either

• They will stop asking for help every now and then and try to revert to doing the trials at least.




• or, in case they already tried, they will make it an official request, for which you'll be assigned the work officially.

Ask your manager what he or she wants you to do.

Obviously helping out another team is going to take time, particularly if they have an ongoing set of problems. It's going to cut into whatever else you are working on. It's your manager's job to decide whether you should take that time or not.

Talk to your manager, without bringing up the attitude of the other team or the other manager. Just lay it out... you've spent this amount of time so far, you think it will take this much more time, and likely there will be additional issues that will require more time. Should you break off what you are working on and help out the other team?

Your manager gets to decide, and is also up to date on how the schedule is impacted. And if the answer is "no", your manager is the one who talks to the other team's manager and lets them know you aren't available.

"Sorry, I'm busy with task X"

Don't elaborate. You want to keep the conversation firmly grounded in the current reality and avoid any comments that give credence to the idea that you might be in some way involved in their project (e.g. "I don't want to help this person who could use google" implies that you could or should help them).

If you are later accused of being unhelpful then stick to this line. Don't refuse to help, just say that you tried to help but felt obliged to prioritise your own work. i.e. to do the thing you were told to do.

Ultimately you might be tasked with babysitting the person but you can and should make them go through formal channels to request the babysitting.

I would take a couple approaches at the same time:

1. First, teach her to find her own answers. This may seem odd and "not my job" but it's a way to help others help themselves and take some of the burden off of you to fix all their problems. Ask questions like, "What did you find when you googled that error message?", "Have you googled how to configure X?", etc. Given time, that will train others that you expect that before they ask you a question, they will do at least some initial research and won't receive help from you until they do.


2. 
   

   Second, put the responsibility back on her and explain (briefly) why.

   
   
   

   
   

   When I helped you before, I had hoped to offer a few quick tips to get you unstuck. I'm sorry I can't be more help but I haven't been tasked by my manager to help with your project and don't have more time to spend on it without my manager's approval.

   
   

   
   

At this point I think you can go a few ways, you can 1. approach your manager to ask for time to help, 2. put it back on her to ask your manager if you can help her, or 3. just leave it there.

If she persists, talk to your manager. Explain your initial attempts to help but that you don't have the kind of time to spend on a regular, ongoing basis to help her. That said... be prepared for your manager to say to help her. In that case I would stick to #1 but help after a reasonable effort has been put into finding a solution.