PTIJ: Haman's bad computer












8















Esther 9:25




... ישוב מחשבתו הרעה




(Esther requests that Achashverush should) return (Haman's) bad computer.




  • What was bad about his computer? Did it not have enough RAM? Was the hard drive running slow? What technical hardware or software problems made it "bad"?


  • Why did Esther want a bad computer? Was she a techno-geek that she wanted to fix / upgrade it?



This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.






purim-torah-in-jest







share|improve this question




















  • 3





    Clearly it's because it kept killing wizards, lying, and sending POST and PUT requests.

    – DonielF
    13 hours ago











  • @DonielF I had a feeling that someone would make a reference to at least my question. I had another suspicion that it would be you. C'mon, surely, you can extract ideas from those and compose an answer? OK, I'll give you a break b/c you're preparing for Shabbat.

    – DanF
    13 hours ago
















8















Esther 9:25




... ישוב מחשבתו הרעה




(Esther requests that Achashverush should) return (Haman's) bad computer.




  • What was bad about his computer? Did it not have enough RAM? Was the hard drive running slow? What technical hardware or software problems made it "bad"?


  • Why did Esther want a bad computer? Was she a techno-geek that she wanted to fix / upgrade it?



This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.






purim-torah-in-jest







share|improve this question




















  • 3





    Clearly it's because it kept killing wizards, lying, and sending POST and PUT requests.

    – DonielF
    13 hours ago











  • @DonielF I had a feeling that someone would make a reference to at least my question. I had another suspicion that it would be you. C'mon, surely, you can extract ideas from those and compose an answer? OK, I'll give you a break b/c you're preparing for Shabbat.

    – DanF
    13 hours ago














8












8








8








Esther 9:25




... ישוב מחשבתו הרעה




(Esther requests that Achashverush should) return (Haman's) bad computer.




  • What was bad about his computer? Did it not have enough RAM? Was the hard drive running slow? What technical hardware or software problems made it "bad"?


  • Why did Esther want a bad computer? Was she a techno-geek that she wanted to fix / upgrade it?



This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.






purim-torah-in-jest







share|improve this question
















Esther 9:25




... ישוב מחשבתו הרעה




(Esther requests that Achashverush should) return (Haman's) bad computer.




  • What was bad about his computer? Did it not have enough RAM? Was the hard drive running slow? What technical hardware or software problems made it "bad"?


  • Why did Esther want a bad computer? Was she a techno-geek that she wanted to fix / upgrade it?



This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.






purim-torah-in-jest




purim-torah-in-jest






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 13 hours ago









Rafael

694116




694116










asked 15 hours ago









DanFDanF

34.9k528127




34.9k528127








  • 3





    Clearly it's because it kept killing wizards, lying, and sending POST and PUT requests.

    – DonielF
    13 hours ago











  • @DonielF I had a feeling that someone would make a reference to at least my question. I had another suspicion that it would be you. C'mon, surely, you can extract ideas from those and compose an answer? OK, I'll give you a break b/c you're preparing for Shabbat.

    – DanF
    13 hours ago














  • 3





    Clearly it's because it kept killing wizards, lying, and sending POST and PUT requests.

    – DonielF
    13 hours ago











  • @DonielF I had a feeling that someone would make a reference to at least my question. I had another suspicion that it would be you. C'mon, surely, you can extract ideas from those and compose an answer? OK, I'll give you a break b/c you're preparing for Shabbat.

    – DanF
    13 hours ago








3




3





Clearly it's because it kept killing wizards, lying, and sending POST and PUT requests.

– DonielF
13 hours ago





Clearly it's because it kept killing wizards, lying, and sending POST and PUT requests.

– DonielF
13 hours ago













@DonielF I had a feeling that someone would make a reference to at least my question. I had another suspicion that it would be you. C'mon, surely, you can extract ideas from those and compose an answer? OK, I'll give you a break b/c you're preparing for Shabbat.

– DanF
13 hours ago





@DonielF I had a feeling that someone would make a reference to at least my question. I had another suspicion that it would be you. C'mon, surely, you can extract ideas from those and compose an answer? OK, I'll give you a break b/c you're preparing for Shabbat.

– DanF
13 hours ago










1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes


















13














Haman was Mordechai's slave. A slave is responsible for mitzvos like a woman. However, Haman had a computer. It's not that his computer was broken. It's just that all computers are intrinsically bad, like the pasuk in Mishlei (כד:ח) tells us.




מְחַשֵּׁ֥ב לְהָרֵ֑עַ - A computer is for evil.




Why are they evil? Well the mishna in Pirkei Avos (ב:א) tells us.




וֶהֱוֵי מְחַשֵּׁב הֶפְסֵד מִצְוָה - And a computer causes one to lose mitzvos.




Why? Probably because they're so distracting. If you're on the computer, you will end up missing out on mitzvos.



So therefore, the whole time Haman was in possession of a computer, he was unable to do mitzvos! We know because of the rule of כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה that Esther and Haman (who both had the same חיוב in mitzvos) were responsible to make sure each other was fulfilling them. Since Haman had a computer and wasn't doing any mitzvos, Esther was responsible to get rid of it. Therefore, she asked Achasveirosh for the computer, not because it was broken so she could fix it, but rather to destroy it, so Haman could get back to doing mitzvos.



(considering all this, I should probably get off my computer now...)






share|improve this answer



















  • 1





    judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/100243

    – DonielF
    13 hours ago



















1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes








1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes









active

oldest

votes






active

oldest

votes









13














Haman was Mordechai's slave. A slave is responsible for mitzvos like a woman. However, Haman had a computer. It's not that his computer was broken. It's just that all computers are intrinsically bad, like the pasuk in Mishlei (כד:ח) tells us.




מְחַשֵּׁ֥ב לְהָרֵ֑עַ - A computer is for evil.




Why are they evil? Well the mishna in Pirkei Avos (ב:א) tells us.




וֶהֱוֵי מְחַשֵּׁב הֶפְסֵד מִצְוָה - And a computer causes one to lose mitzvos.




Why? Probably because they're so distracting. If you're on the computer, you will end up missing out on mitzvos.



So therefore, the whole time Haman was in possession of a computer, he was unable to do mitzvos! We know because of the rule of כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה that Esther and Haman (who both had the same חיוב in mitzvos) were responsible to make sure each other was fulfilling them. Since Haman had a computer and wasn't doing any mitzvos, Esther was responsible to get rid of it. Therefore, she asked Achasveirosh for the computer, not because it was broken so she could fix it, but rather to destroy it, so Haman could get back to doing mitzvos.



(considering all this, I should probably get off my computer now...)






share|improve this answer



















  • 1





    judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/100243

    – DonielF
    13 hours ago
















13














Haman was Mordechai's slave. A slave is responsible for mitzvos like a woman. However, Haman had a computer. It's not that his computer was broken. It's just that all computers are intrinsically bad, like the pasuk in Mishlei (כד:ח) tells us.




מְחַשֵּׁ֥ב לְהָרֵ֑עַ - A computer is for evil.




Why are they evil? Well the mishna in Pirkei Avos (ב:א) tells us.




וֶהֱוֵי מְחַשֵּׁב הֶפְסֵד מִצְוָה - And a computer causes one to lose mitzvos.




Why? Probably because they're so distracting. If you're on the computer, you will end up missing out on mitzvos.



So therefore, the whole time Haman was in possession of a computer, he was unable to do mitzvos! We know because of the rule of כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה that Esther and Haman (who both had the same חיוב in mitzvos) were responsible to make sure each other was fulfilling them. Since Haman had a computer and wasn't doing any mitzvos, Esther was responsible to get rid of it. Therefore, she asked Achasveirosh for the computer, not because it was broken so she could fix it, but rather to destroy it, so Haman could get back to doing mitzvos.



(considering all this, I should probably get off my computer now...)






share|improve this answer



















  • 1





    judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/100243

    – DonielF
    13 hours ago














13












13








13







Haman was Mordechai's slave. A slave is responsible for mitzvos like a woman. However, Haman had a computer. It's not that his computer was broken. It's just that all computers are intrinsically bad, like the pasuk in Mishlei (כד:ח) tells us.




מְחַשֵּׁ֥ב לְהָרֵ֑עַ - A computer is for evil.




Why are they evil? Well the mishna in Pirkei Avos (ב:א) tells us.




וֶהֱוֵי מְחַשֵּׁב הֶפְסֵד מִצְוָה - And a computer causes one to lose mitzvos.




Why? Probably because they're so distracting. If you're on the computer, you will end up missing out on mitzvos.



So therefore, the whole time Haman was in possession of a computer, he was unable to do mitzvos! We know because of the rule of כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה that Esther and Haman (who both had the same חיוב in mitzvos) were responsible to make sure each other was fulfilling them. Since Haman had a computer and wasn't doing any mitzvos, Esther was responsible to get rid of it. Therefore, she asked Achasveirosh for the computer, not because it was broken so she could fix it, but rather to destroy it, so Haman could get back to doing mitzvos.



(considering all this, I should probably get off my computer now...)






share|improve this answer













Haman was Mordechai's slave. A slave is responsible for mitzvos like a woman. However, Haman had a computer. It's not that his computer was broken. It's just that all computers are intrinsically bad, like the pasuk in Mishlei (כד:ח) tells us.




מְחַשֵּׁ֥ב לְהָרֵ֑עַ - A computer is for evil.




Why are they evil? Well the mishna in Pirkei Avos (ב:א) tells us.




וֶהֱוֵי מְחַשֵּׁב הֶפְסֵד מִצְוָה - And a computer causes one to lose mitzvos.




Why? Probably because they're so distracting. If you're on the computer, you will end up missing out on mitzvos.



So therefore, the whole time Haman was in possession of a computer, he was unable to do mitzvos! We know because of the rule of כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה that Esther and Haman (who both had the same חיוב in mitzvos) were responsible to make sure each other was fulfilling them. Since Haman had a computer and wasn't doing any mitzvos, Esther was responsible to get rid of it. Therefore, she asked Achasveirosh for the computer, not because it was broken so she could fix it, but rather to destroy it, so Haman could get back to doing mitzvos.



(considering all this, I should probably get off my computer now...)







share|improve this answer












share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer










answered 13 hours ago









RafaelRafael

694116




694116








  • 1





    judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/100243

    – DonielF
    13 hours ago














  • 1





    judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/100243

    – DonielF
    13 hours ago








1




1





judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/100243

– DonielF
13 hours ago





judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/100243

– DonielF
13 hours ago



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